In a few short months I have a birthday coming up. No, it’s not the big one. But, I’m getting so close I can almost feel it’s hot breath whispering in my ear. I am holding onto my 40’s by a thread.
When the day comes that I do turn 50 – I mean 49+1 – I will embrace it in my own way. Fifty is going to have to take me kicking and screaming – no going quietly into the night for me. I will have a disco themed birthday bash, with a flashing disco ball, and shake my groove thing…all night long. It will be the Bat Mitzvah party I never had!
I don’t ever want to lose the youthful spirit and energy coursing through me. I will not be saddled down by a number. I will not cut my hair, I will not let it go gray (though many do and look gorgeous, it’s just not for me), or tone down the oomph factor when I dress. And I will not fade away. After all, I go to spin class with my nineteen year old daughter, and I kick ass (even if it’s just by my own standards).
Some may look at this landmark birthday as a time when they begin to slow down. I’m just revving my engine. After raising two beautiful children into wonderful, caring, productive adults, I’m ready for this time in my life. I have no intention of slowing down now or anytime in the foreseeable future. Other than a few aches and pains, and a little extra weight on my frame, I feel young and alive and excited for what the future will bring. (Grandchildren would be nice, but let’s not rush things.)
For some, going from 49 to 50 creates the kind of panic that only driving on a narrow, windy road with nothing to the side of you but a drop can do. No, I’m making a conscious decision. It’s not going to be that way for me. I’m just going to carry on and go about my business like it’s any other day. Because in my mind I will always be in my 40’s. 49+1, 49 +2…you get the idea.
Fifty will be a time of reinvention. For me, and how I shape fifty to be. I don’t like labels, unless, of course, it’s in my handbag, and I won’t be defined by one. I want to do and learn and laugh and love. I want to live. And as long as I’m healthy, God willing, I will keep the pedal to the metal until I no longer can or care. Whichever comes first.
Take that 50!