Middle age is a tricky thing.
Does it happen at 35 or is it 55?
No one really knows for sure.
In the stone age, middle age truly would have been old age.
There are young people who act old. Old people who act young. Perhaps best not to judge too much.
So how do you know if you’re middle age?
I compiled a list to help figure out where you might be on the middle age spectrum.
Count how many you say “Yes” to.
1. Muffin top is no longer something you only find in the bakery section. It’s now in the midsection too.
2. Comfortable shoes sound sexy, at least that’s what you tell yourself.
3. You need the gray touched up every two weeks, though you’ll push it to three or four. Maybe more.
4. 10 pm is a late night out.
5. You become nostalgic about everything.
6. You really want to go for a jog. You really do. But it would take too long to recover.
7. You use the word “jog”.
8. The music in every store is too loud and you’re not afraid to tell the salespeople to lower it.
9. A magnifying mirror and tweezers have become your best friend.
10. You eat less and exercise more. And that’s just to maintain your weight.
11. Every time you sneeze there’s an unpleasant surprise.
12. You can’t read a thing without your glasses. You now have a pair in every room of the house.
13. You’ve found at least one gray hair in your eyebrows. Possibly down south in your nether regions too.
14. You forgot why you’re taking this quiz.
15. There’s a strong possibility your keys are missing too.
If you’ve nodded your head “Yes” up to 5 times: you’re still quite young and should just invest in a good sunscreen; 6-10 times: You’re almost there. Maybe start thinking about estate planning; 11 or more: Welcome to middle age and elastic waistbands. You’ve now turned into your mother.